Process to Release an Upset

Upsets, Regrets, Resentments

What happened (list facts and your feelings)

What is your story about what happened: (what did you decide this means?)

How bad was it? On a scale of l-10, with 10 being “you died” because of it

How much energy have you been investing in it?

Given it is taking your energy, if this was money, how much have you invested in it so far? Hundreds? Millions?

Have you invested an appropriate amount of energy for the level of upset it is?

If not, how much emotional overpayment have you made?

Are you willing to go into debt for next year to continue to give energy to this issue? For next 5 years? 20? This is your energy: all you have to run your life &fulfill your purpose. Decide if want to continue giving to this, and if so, for how long?

What labels have you assigned to yourself? To the other? To the situation?

Are they empowering? Do they enliven you?

What part can you be responsible for doing/ not doing?

What else can you be responsible for?

What else could the situation mean, other than your original interpretation?

What intention did you have that was thwarted/unrealized?

What expectations were unfulfilled?

What communications weren't delivered or were mis-communicated?

What part(s) can you be responsible for?

What else are you willing to take responsibility for? (remember that responsibility is not blame but allowing yourself to be accountable and therefore empowered)

What agreements do you feel or know you have with this person?

What is the role the other person has been playing in your life and in this situation?

Can you accept this role?

Can you release them from blame? (*FOR- giving*)

What have you been learning and developing from this experience?

What was/ is the opportunity? What are you, as a Soul, wanting to learn, express, demonstrate?

Can you now simply step into your larger context for yourself and claim responsibility for the whole situation—knowing it has been set up for you--and that taking responsibility gives you power of choice and freedom to respond?

Can you allow the other to be the way they are?

Can you accept them as they are?

Can you accept your actions as also part of your growth in awareness/your learning?

Can you forgive yourself?

How can you heal any separation you feel from yourself?

Are there any actions you would like to take about this now?

Is there someone you want to communicate with?

Can you be kind to them and to yourself?

Can you honor yourself and the other?

What would being gracious, honoring and loving look and sound like?

Being responsible is an opportunity to live at choice rather than unconsciously/accidentally. It then naturally leads to being accountable for our actions, thoughts, feelings, and beliefs. It gives true power and choice in how respond.